While some people still wish to be the President, I have decided I am not qualified. When I was asked, I immediately went to my family history and high school books to check my past for skeletons to be used against me in this PC world of sexism and racism. Here are my reasons why I am not qualified for President.
I found a photo of my mother’s father dressed as Eleanor Roosevelt. Evidently the town of Anamosa had a play production about the President. My grandfather owned the local hotel and was in this 40s. Why and how he got the part I will never know. In today’s PC world, that would be sexism at its worst. I am therefore from a sexist family.
Then I found the script for my High School play where I played a woman and my young son (in the play) was played by a female classmate. Needless to say in today’s PC world, even though there was a plot and reason within the play, my actions would not pass the Presidential test of today. A presidential cross dresser.
The next item from my terrible past was an Easter Parade photo of my third-grade class. There was not an even number of girls to boys, so some of the males (me included) got to wear Easter bonnets and partner with another guy from the class. Absolutely unforgivable presidential material in today’s culture.
The next reason I would make a terrible president is because some of my high school teachers were in a play that included slavery. There were no African Americans on the high school faculty so someone came up with the old and accepted idea of a Caucasian posing as an African American. Nobody ever apologized, so if I were elected, I would have to apologize for the whole faculty from 1950, and I could not do that.
Next to the last reason I would make a terrible president is because I still own and drive a Studebaker that was manufactured before seat belts were mandatory. According to some, that is stupid, unsafe and illegal. I would be seen as a potential traffic violator. That took some actual education for the news media to understand that it is not illegal, but who seems to care about the facts?
Last, I found three photos from my past teaching at Western Dubuque Schools that definitely disqualify me for president in today’s PC world. In the 1970’s, Batman was a popular TV series. Five middle school faculty members put on a play at Epworth HS based on Batman. I played “The Joker.” Two real PC errors that I will always regret and disqualify my office. 1) I have a potential criminal record because I portrayed the Joker with a cigar and an umbrella in my hands throughout the play (a cigar and potential weapon in high school) and 2) I should never have posed as someone I’m not — a fake Joker.